- SLUSHBIN -

Where does the time go?

I don't know what happened with my perception of time, but it seems to be getting worse and worse. What felt like hours now feels like minutes. Years feel like weeks. I remember something like 5 years ago (back when I didn't have grey hair) being mad about having to be in school for what was... 6 hours? And these were 6 hours that included a break every 2 hours. Sometimes the break was 15 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes. It still felt like bullshit to me for how long it was, and once I returned home I felt I had hours to enjoy myself before the next day started.

Nowdays I worked like 9 hours a day, and the place I had to go was a hour and a half ride too. Which meant I was like 11 hours away from home each day. It sucked ass, but it kinda went by fast. When I'm home and have free time it goes fast too. I recently had a 17 hour bus ride. It felt like nothing too (thankfully not so much nothing as to end up being desirable)

Worst thing is, I can't even tell you what I'm doing in all these hours. It just feels like sometimes I slip away and then return to reality a few dozen minutes later. (gas leak story arc Foreshadowing) I mean, it maybe does happen as I do slip out of reality from time to time. When I was little I used to stare at shut off screens, or at least so I heard. Still had endless time to do everything though back then, and that continued till I was like... 14? From that one it began being worse.

I heard meditation helps with getting a better sense of time. Too bad though I'm no monk or a pretentious white woman, so that's not an option.